When I was a teenager, I remember my parents keeping a small book in the kitchen called, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. They lived by that philosophy, releasing life’s challenges, sorrows, and even joys without holding on too tightly. It served as a quiet, daily reminder to let go, and for that, I’m grateful.

Yet, as I grew older—through my own experiences and the stories shared by friends and family—I came to realize that letting go isn’t as simple as it sounds. Surrender isn’t just a mindset; it’s a skill, a muscle we must consciously strengthen, especially in a world that often resists the inevitable impermanence of all things, including life itself.

In Western culture, we tend to avoid the truth of life’s transience. However, when we pause to observe, nature continuously reminds us of its cycles—life, death, decay, and renewal. I see these same lessons reflected in my yoga and meditation practices, where I consciously work on letting go—both on the mat and in daily life. This practice helps me stay open, present, and attuned to the natural flow of existence.

What Letting Go Means to Me

Letting go, in the context of the human experience, can mean opening and softening your heart to life’s inevitable highs and lows, while consciously releasing what no longer serves you. This act of release is not about giving up or being passive—it’s about having courage and participation, it’s about leaning in instead of shying away.

Surrender is an art and a lifelong practice, one that takes a tremendous amount of awareness, trust and intention. I’d like to share a story that profoundly shaped my understanding of how we, as humans, often hold onto things far longer than we should—even when they take a toll on our mental and physical well-being.

The Tale of Two Monks and a Woman

Two monks—one senior and one junior—were traveling together, when they reached a river with a strong current.

A young woman stood at the water’s edge, unable to cross. She asked the monks for help. Without hesitation, the senior monk, despite his vow not to touch women, carried her across the river and set her down on the other side.

The younger monk was aghast, but said nothing as they continued their journey. Hours passed. Finally, unable to contain his frustration, the younger monk burst out, “Why did you carry that woman when we took a vow not to touch women?”

The senior monk replied calmly, “I set her down hours ago by the side of the river. Why are you still carrying her?”

This simple story offers a profound reminder: How often do we carry burdens—resentments, fears, attachments to the past—far longer than necessary?

I once had a yoga teacher guide us through a powerful exercise to embody this lesson. She asked us to hold up a yoga block with our arms outstretched. At first, it seemed easy. But as minutes passed, the block felt impossibly heavy, our arms trembling. Then she said, “Let go.” The weight fell away instantly, a tangible reminder of how we can release what we carry when it no longer serves us.

A Buddhist Perspective on Letting Go

In Buddhism, Dukkha—often translated as suffering or dissatisfaction—is a fundamental truth of human existence. Life’s challenges, losses, and changes are inevitable. When we acknowledge this reality and accept it, we can use mindfulness and meditation to navigate suffering with more ease.

This practice of radical acceptance is not about resignation. It’s about choosing not to fight the natural flow of life. Instead of gripping tightly to what’s fleeting, we can embrace impermanence and find freedom in the flow.

Letting Go of the Negative

We all face challenges that leave us feeling stuck—loss, resentment, or an inability to accept what we can’t control. Letting go doesn’t dismiss the reality of these experiences but offers a way to move through them with grace. There is a strength and awareness in acceptance and leaning into the flow of your life. 

• Loss: The grief of losing someone or something dear is a profound teacher of impermanence. Letting go allows us to honor what was without being consumed by its absence. As Mark Nepo writes, “To let go is not to deny, but to accept. To let go is to let things be.”
• Resentment: Holding onto anger or grudges is like gripping a burning coal; it does more harm to you than to anyone else. Forgiveness is an act of release that frees your heart. Whenever I or someone I know is struggling with resentment I refer to the words of Nelson Mandela: “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

Control: Trying to control every outcome often leads to frustration and anxiety. Surrendering the need to control brings peace and teaches us to trust the flow of life.

Letting Go of the Positive

It’s not just the hard times that tether us. Sometimes, the happiest moments feel so fleeting that we grasp at them, wishing they could last forever.

When I was in my 20s, I took a sabbatical from my graduate program to live and work in Madrid, Spain. I didn’t want it to end. I tried desperately to find a way to stay and extend my sabbatical, l but it was impossible. When we let go of experiences, even positive ones, we open ourselves up to the limitless opportunities available to us and make space for new ones.

I got a summer job at a travel company and ended up leaving Madrid earlier than expected. I experienced grief leaving behind a life, friends, culture that I felt so connected to. I was on a new path, and it was that path that led me to meet my future husband. Sometimes, the act of letting go creates space for new possibilities—leading you toward a more aligned path you may never have seen or imagined had you not moved forward.

Building a Practice

Below are some starting points for cultivating a practice and building strength around letting go. In the words of Hakim Tafari, “through these practices you get to open your heart space and the heart space opens and liberates you more fully. If we can be more free in our minds and hearts we can surrender fully and let go.” 

1. Meditation

Visualization: I practice this with my thoughts in meditation. Everytime a thought comes up, I hold it in my hand, then release it to the river and watch it float away. You may have to do this many times with the same thought in a mediation. That’s ok. You are strengthening this muscle, the muscle of letting go. 

Guided Meditation for Letting Go with Deepak Chopra

2. Journaling for Release

Write about what you’re holding onto. Use prompts like:

• What am I afraid to let go of, and why?
• What would life feel like if I released this?
  Try writing a “letter of release” and destroy it afterward as a symbolic ritual.

This can pair nicely with Rituals for Release below. You can try a fear release – write about what you are afraid of, what you feel is holding you back. Honor this moment and safely burn the paper (in an outdoor fire pit for example) to release what is no longer serving you. This can be powerful to do with friends or family.

3. Art for Release

Get out your art supplies (anything you have) and create something!  You could also grab a friend and go to a local pottery studio or art space to get inspired or try something new. If you are feeling like you need guidance, pick up a paint by numbers kit or adult coloring book. Put on some good music and just get lost in creation!

4. Reframing – The ‘Let Them’ Theory

When you find yourself feeling frustrated about an outcome or someone else’s reaction or behavior, respond internally with “let them”! When you “Let Them” do whatever it is that they want to do, it creates more control and emotional peace for you and a better relationship with the people in your life. 

Learn more here: Mel Robbins Let Them Theory

5. Rituals of Release

Create your own symbolic ritual, like lighting a candle, placing stones in water, or even making and unmaking something, inspired by the Tibetan sand mandalas. By creating a ritual, you will honor the moment you are in and consciously let it go of whatever you are holding on to, creating space for whatever will come next. You can do this alone or sometimes it can be extra helpful to practice this in community with trusted friends or family. We all have things we are holding on to (fears, doubts, stories, patterns, people, things). It can be 

6. Mindfulness and Gratitude Practices

Shift your perspective from loss to abundance by listing three things you’re grateful for each day. Gratitude helps soften the grip of attachment.

Reflection Questions

Use these prompts to deepen your practice:

1. What am I still carrying that I need to set down?
2. What lessons have my attachments taught me?
3. How can I welcome impermanence as a part of life’s beauty?
4. How am I moving through this world with love?
5. How do I demonstrate trust in this process? (the process of my life unfolding)

The Freeing Aspects of Letting Go

Letting go is not about denying the past or numbing your emotions. It’s about lightening your load, freeing yourself from unnecessary suffering, and making room for life’s next chapter.

As Yung Pueblo reminds us, “Letting go is not: Erasing a memory or ignoring the past. Letting go is: No longer reacting to things that used to make you feel tense; it is releasing the energy attached to certain thoughts.” I would add to this, setting the ego aside, softening and opening the heart to move with the flow of life instead of against it.

You, too, have the power to release what no longer serves you and to embrace life’s impermanence with an open heart.

Next Steps

Are you ready to start or continue the practice and art of letting go? Join our meditation and discussion groups in our Create Joy Community, where we explore mindfulness, gratitude, and resilience. Together, we’ll create space for healing and self-awareness.

Release the weight. Embrace the moment. Let’s move forward lighter, freer, and more at peace—together.

Listening Recommendations and Resources: 

1. Hakim Tafari on Mindfulness and Letting Go  
2. Mel Robbins Let Them Theory  
3. Dr. Suzy Ross Tools for Transformation Series

Key Takeaways

Embrace Impermanence

• Life is a series of beginnings and endings. Just like the Tibetan sand mandalas are created and then destroyed, we can honor the beauty of each moment without clinging to it.

Release Negative Attachments

• Holding onto loss, resentment, or the need for control creates unnecessary suffering. Letting go doesn’t erase the past; it frees us from its weight. Forgiveness and surrender are acts of self-compassion.

Let Go of Positive Attachments, Too

• Cherish joyful moments without trying to preserve them forever. Life’s fleeting nature makes these experiences precious. Appreciate them fully and remain open to the new.

Practice Self-Awareness

• Reflect on what you’re holding onto and why. Ask yourself: What does this attachment say about me? How is it affecting my ability to move forward?

Cultivate Tools for Letting Go

• Mindfulness Meditation: Visualize releasing attachments with each exhale.
• Journaling: Write a letter of release to what you’re ready to let go of.
• Rituals: Create a symbolic act, such as burning a letter or releasing stones into water.
• Gratitude Practice: Focus on the abundance of the present moment to soften attachment.

Redefine Strength

• Letting go is not weakness—it’s a courageous act of trust in yourself and life. As Yung Pueblo says, “You are your own healer, hero, and leader.”

Call to Action

• Engage in community and personal reflection. Join meditation meetups or share your journey with others to create space for healing and accountability.

Meet the Author

Caroline Meliones

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